Coping With Stress
“Ok so today was one of those days. I just cannot seem to shake this low level uneasiness. I’m always feeling this general sense of panic that I am beginning to believe will never subside. It can cause me to feel overwhelmed a lot of the time. Overwhelmed by things I used to be able handle with ease. I don’t seem to be myself anymore. I’m beginning to feel left behind in a world that is moving too quickly. I love to learn and I think I’m pretty smart but it seems I just can’t keep up anymore.”
As a therapist, I hear dialogue like this pretty much every day. I have often felt like this myself. How do we navigate in a world that moves so fast and can be sooo unforgiving at times. You know, I was watching a video my niece created and posted on facebook. It was very brief and just one of those things that she often does – she is extremely talented and I expect to see her name in lights one day – but as I was looking at it, I was amazed. I thought, how did she do that?? And then I thought, wait a minute. I’m lost. I should know something about this kind of thing and for a split second, this sense of dread encompassed me. This can happen to anyone and as long as it is not an undiagnosed mental illness, there are ways to cope. So I realized that it could be helpful to come up with some tips to follow when we are feeling like we are under water or slowly sinking.
1/ You better learn to dog paddle
When a dog hits the water, it immediately starts pumping it’s legs and pushing itself forward. If a dog can do it . . . . you have thumbs so use the superior brain that accompanies these appendages to develop a plan that will get you moving. Sometimes the dog will swim in circles until it realizes what direction to head in and you might find that it will take some time to discover the impetus for your momentum but don’t give up.
2/ Head for the nearest point of safety
Keeping with the dog and swimming metaphor thing: so yes, a dog may swim in circles before it figures out what to do but once it has safety in its sights, it’s off. This could mean the shoreline or a person close by anywhere where its feet can hit solid ground or find rest. So, head for solid ground. Use your resources. So often we believe we can handle things ourselves. Some of us are so stubborn that we refuse to get help (eh hmm hmm – I am speaking to myself here, again). But there are people out there who are willing to be your shoreline or your point of safety. Those are the people you can trust whether they are friends, family members, clergy, or a therapist. Use the resources that you have available to you. But make sure these people are safe. It would not be helpful if the ground you think is solid is actually sinking mud!
3/ Give yourself time
Do I dare? No. I’ll give up the dog . . . . but . . . . . the dog just doesn’t get to a safe place by magic (sorry but this metaphor is so appropriate). It keeps pumping and pumping one stroke at a time. Some of this stuff that we experience isn’t even our own doing but it does not mean that we do not find ourselves in tough situations we have to handle regardless of their origin. Whether something has been dumped in your lap (that is another issue for another time), or something is brand new, or even if you are repeating the same problems over and over again, getting off the roller coaster or getting to that place where you know you can rest takes time. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, one stroke after the other. Most times when we experience something difficult, it is just as difficult to live out each moment because each moment can seem like days, months, years. It feels like it will never end and this is often the message we subconsciously repeat to ourselves, but, really, what other options do you have? You cannot magically appear on the other side. Time does go by and soon you get to a point where you look back and are amazed at how far you have come. Do not abandon the chance to play an active role in your growth. You cannot get to where you want to go all at once. It is a process.
4/ Learn to embrace the process
Life is a journey and if you can see it as such YOUR LIFE, no matter how much it challenges you, it can also empower you. Embracing the intricacies of living can mean so much and offer you a grand opportunity to explore and learn more about yourself and your environment. Smell the roses along way (Is this just a cliché or the basis for another metaphor?). Keep it simple and when you do focus on the details pay close attention to the trials as well as to the parts that make you happy or bring you joy because all of it provides valuable insight. If you gotta do it, you may as well make it worth your while.
5/ Learn to embrace yourself
You are not perfect! Give yourself grace. You will always make mistakes but you will always find your successes too IF YOU LOOK FOR THEM. Affirm your efforts and try to relax even when you believe this is impossible. Get a book on relaxation or just get a good book. Chicken Soup books may seem trite but they are inspiring and they offer both a time to relax and reflect in a positive way. Do something edifying for someone else. Giving back is powerful and uplifting not only to the recipient but to the benefactor as well. Be ok with the efforts you are putting forth to make your life the best it can possibly be. IT’S NOT EASY! We cannot live life perfectly but we can live life.
I hope this was helpful.
Please return for your next life visit
